The Things They Don't Tell You

You would think that with all the millions and zillions of books out there, there are a few things they would tell you everything there is to know about motherhood. They tell you that you will be sleep deprived. That you will have to change diapers and clean up puke. That you will have to do mountains upon mountains of laundry. But I've learned quite a few things that I've never seen in a book or magazine.

They don't tell you that every trip to the store will turn into a lesson on numbers and colors. And yes, we had to count every orange pumpkin last night.

They don't tell you that you will cry over things that don't really warrant that much emotion. Like pee pee in the potty for the first time.

They don't tell you that you will have to watch Shrek at least once a day. And that every time your child wants to watch it, you will end up getting sucked in and watching it with your child.

They don't tell you that it's possible for a child to go from wearing at 24 month infant size to a size 3 toddler. Not too many 2Ts in this house.

They don't tell you how much it will break your heart to have to pack away clothes after each season, knowing she will never wear those cute little sundresses again.

They don't tell you that you will regret buying that really long, 12 days of Christmas book that will have to be read over and over and over and over, even in the middle of summer.

They don't tell you that you will get the songs from Dora the Explorer stuck in your head to the point you start to apply them to everyday life.

They don't tell you that your house will be overtaken by plastic and plush.

They don't tell you that trying to get a 2-year old ready for preschool and out the door in the mornings is enough to make you break a sweat.

They don't tell you that you will have to have three different kinds of graham crackers because one day we might like princess shapes, one day we might like car shapes, and another day we might like just good old-fashioned rectangles.

But most of all, they don't tell you how wonderful it is to be so wholly and unconditionally loved by another human being.